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We will, with the slight of hands, eventually pay increased amounts to have free access to content, whereas some countries protect Net Neutrality with regulation of content over more uniform access.

It's not Obama's fault. As someone who vowed to protect Net Neutrality during his campaign, I am not sure what else he can do at this point; though, I wish he could veto this course. It is disheartening to see the FCC give up on a solution and roll over to lobbyists and big business. I understand protection in a Court of law and I have not read every last detail since 2010 but the ramifications of this new proposal will affect your finances, access and availability in this technology-required world. I already pay a fortune for my cell phone, and my internet service has increased three times over the last two years. We are based on freedom of choice, but with the subtext of 'what's it worth to you?' We talk about the financial disparities between those who have and who have not, but these disparities are not only monetary. Access to information, food, education... the price it cost to be efficient is now becoming the price it costs to survive. Did you know the U.N. deemed internet access a basic human right in 2011?

No more regulation.

Coined phrases

gender situation
wildly poetic
poetry in motion

if I've learned anything about life, it's that it's all but a dream and there's no wizard pulling levers behind a curtain, which means as far as I can see, the only real use in loving someone is that it makes your life better and my life would suck infinitely more without you in it. - The Big Wedding

What is it you like about 'this'?


An entity of fluid motion erecting itself in time.
A vision of love, truth, and being;
existing so contently that judgments don't matter;
that sanctuary feels comfortable,
and where boundaries don't have to be pushed
because exploration of self is just enough to push one step further.
Where organic experiences deter us from settling
and beings intertwine willingly, rather than lustfully.
Embracing all memories
because they remind you that you were loved beyond words,
that you died with each painful experience
and healed with every step you took, regardless of the direction.
A methodology to life without boundaries, and gentle ends
a work of art that is pleasing to you,
with every colorful addition by those who encounter it.
A creative vision for humanity and personal interaction,
Opening the soulful energy from the depths of the earth
being grounded in solitude, compassion and hope
living without fear - of failure and of letting go
Living moments in time, from peace; from truth; from goodness
and accepting this as a once in a lifetime love.


I like the way you move.
I like the way your eyes move in time with your every fifth word
as if each moment of eloquence is stitched with conviction
and right through the eye of my heart.

My desire to find you, to breathe you in and touch you
causes my every fifth word to dissipate into thin air
leaving no trace of crumbs to lead you back to me.
I want to convince you of truth, and paint a picture of
life together or maybe just tell you,
I like the way you move.

Some days I forget to breathe.
It's not the actual breathing in and out, which would lead to a whole different show,
but it's the breathing of life. of trust. of Universe.
Consumed by emotion and desire and ego and want
these energies wrap tightly around my heart and I don't realize I am not breathing
until the tears are spilling down my face

A plan

The thing with having a plan is there is little room to dream. Having a dream allows you a continuum of ideas and possibilities. A plan is much less glamorous.

I have a plan. I understand I must start somewhere.

My plan grants me direction from the stagnation I've allowed over the last ten years. I've focused my attention on other people and situations to avoid developing a sense of self. I have lacked nurturing and self-love. And dreams. At least with a plan, things start moving in a direction.

Sometimes I dream.

I dream of things not necessarily related to my plan, which then causes me to second guess my plan. I dream of dance and travel and art. Visual aesthetics that allow feeling to be expressed when your mouth can't speak.

My plan involves education and development of life skills. Inclusion. Freedom of expression. Hope. Creationism. A 'meet-me-where-I'm-at' approach. A nurturing spirit with a 'can do' attitude.

And somehow through it all, I feel alone.

My desire to share emotion and be excited with others is heightened and yet, I feel alone in these endeavors. Perhaps I must walk this path alone. I hope the plan will lead to an impassioned dream one day.


After the last entry, I found this...

"If we have goals and dreams and we want to do our best, and if we love people and we don’t want to hurt them or lose them, we should feel pain when things go wrong. The point isn't to live without any regrets, the point is to not hate ourselves for having them… We need to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things that we create, and to forgive ourselves for creating them. Regret doesn't remind us that we did badly — it reminds us that we know we can do better.” -Kathryn Schulz

What I meant to say...

What I meant to say is your love is beautiful.
Not in the lustful way two young people steal smoldering glances, but in the way the heart feels beauty from
the inside out. Stealing glances, delicate touches, innocent laughter. These are the ways to say I love you.
This love gives meaning to the word truth and the outward reflection is like a sunset at the end of a
stormy sky. Bold. Innocent. Peaceful. Beautiful.

What I meant to say is you are additionally wonderful.
Your energy astounds me. Peaceful and bold, you can flatten my heart with a swift sideways glance, like the one you gave me when I told you it would be okay and we would make it together... and you believed me. The way you believe in your own reality of wonder and defining moments we shared among unoriginal backdrops of music in the streets. The kind of wonderful that makes you stop and say, 'I'm so glad to know you' and 'when can I see you again?'

what I meant to say is that you gave me hope.
Hope in the way of messiness not being frightening and comfort being... comfortable. Inspiration in the way
you strive for greatness and only make it halfway, but then believe in yourself just for a moment just
so you can take another leap. Loving through those leaps, drying their tears
and allowing for precipitous actions of unselfish love and impending hope for a better tomorrow.

what I meant to say is I am happy to have known you.
To have shared life and breath with you. To know the curves of your face and the sparkle in your eyes.
To see you at your worst and to love you at your best. Recognizing the truths and the hopes of love
and the agony of great loss. To be reminded that the pain experienced is a fraction of emotion for
how I loved thee.

what I meant to say is I'm sorry. I couldn't find the right words to let you go.


I am feeling loss so greatly right now.
I am unable to breathe through the pain of missing someone
who, in her height, is so beautiful to me
And even in the dark depths, was majestic and challenging.
And who I am so mad at for not being present,
for allowing her demons to supersede her love,
and for breaking my heart.

A broken heart, no matter how dysfunctional, is still a broken heart.

Filling a void

I need some peaches, a bubble bath, soda, a foot massage and to cry on your shoulder.

Diversity - a range of different things

We are hosting a diversity panel on 1/28/14 and I just keep thinking, 'it's not actually a diverse panel'. I am having a hard time being proud of where it stands and my brain keeps wandering to how to curb the conversation to represent diversity. Two men, possibly three, on middle class issues and middle class diversity. Does diversity really cross socio economic backgrounds? Within our own culture, we strive to attract and maintain a diverse workforce. In our actions, most of us strive to maintain a cultural sensitivity and be empathetic to our diverse clients. Yet, do our diverse clients really understand diversity? If you were to ask the homeless, starving, addicted, low-income, barely surviving day-to-day what diversity looked like and how to implement it into their life, what would you hear? The lower the socio-economic status, the less diversity you experience. The other side of that, rings true as well. Is diversity a middle-class word?

"True educational equity can only occur in socioeconomically diverse classrooms," said Josh Densen (educator)
"Diversity is not easy. It doesn't just happen," said Daniel Rubenstein, the school's founder and executive director (Brooklyn Prospect School)

Social Class